fusionatl

I have been seeking and taking heed to all of my Father words since I was young. I have manage all those years and currently sill comply with his word. I have been set free from many strong holds but there is one that continue to consume me, no matter what lengths I try avoiding it is LUST. I have avoid courting for this reason and will not allow a certain gender close to me. I have recently notice someone who is busy in god. The person I have allowed to grow on me. We do not court but I know that the individual would be willing to do so, I'm thinking should I chose this individual as my life partner and put this lust demon to RIP. It seems more challenging as I grow in age. Before you answer be honest and realistic because I have read some response on the blog and it is a little fairy tale. I have reveal this to my mother she and I have been praying about this issue for couple of years now. God Bless

Please dont settle on accepting it, God has plans for you and they are good. And courting and getting married isnt going to get rid of the issue. Do you think a life partner will get you delivered from LUST? This probably going to sound cliche to you but seek the love of christ, his love will over power your lust demon. What are you looking at, listening to, because all of that can effect the issue. If you have a problem with lust than you need to address the issue. God is so good, go to him unashamed and get real with the Lord he knows what you are going through and he wants to show you how strong he is. He is not angry at you, he loves you and he is tugging on your heart, that is why you are coming out with this. The same holy spirit that is getting you to confess this is the same holy spirit that will deliver you if you just believe.

Well...

I think that before you should even continue to consider courting this individual that you first conquer the issue of Lust in your life. A very classic and popular false truth that we as single people have is, "All my lust problems (or problems in general) will be solved once I find 'the one' or get married." This is a HUGE lie of the enemy. If I have issues with girls and how I think about them before I court, that doesn't mean that they just magically vanish when I start courting or anything.

Lust doesn't say, "Oh no, he found the one God has for him, I must run now... ahhhh." But rather Lust dwells, it may subside for a little while, but it's desire is still for you. It, like the enemy, desires to devour you. In fact, it will probably come even harder once you are with the one the Lord has for you. Why? Because the enemy is in the broken household business. That's why divorce is such a great travesty in the church. Too many people thing Marriage is the end all of end alls when it really isn't.

Aside from that, along with courting/marriage come many other things you will have to deal with and work through and to have Lust be added to that list would make it so much harder. And not even just lust, there are many different things that I believe the Lord wants us to work on and get right in ourselves first before we begin to enter into any courtship or marriage. I mean, think about it, would you want to have an ill prepared soldier enter a battle? Would you want an unequipped builder build a house? I think when we really seek God, He reveals things to us that we need to work on before the time comes for us to be ready to be in a relationship...

Granted, we won't ever be to a place where we're PERFECT and will never fail or never fail that person the Lord puts in our lives... BUT we can be at a place where we are mature in the Lord and have victory over the things we need victory in our lives. And also look at this way, why would you want to enter into a relationship with someone knowing you still have this issue and they are like your "scapegoat" from that issue. It's kind of selfish... It kind of says, "I can't deal with my issues completely so I'm going to need you to help me with my situation/issues." That turns the relationship from an equal relationship to a "feed me" "help me" relationship.

Maybe that's just me though.

What I would recommend though. Leadership. Put someone in your life who you look up to spiritually and who is even married. And confide in that leadership, tell them about whatever things you have in your life that you're dealing with, tell them about the current situation with the person and see what they say. If this person is someone you really think could be "the one" for you, then I think it's VITAL that you make sure you have everything in your life in order before proceeding on. If it's really the Lord, they won't go anywhere and you both can wait, mature in the Lord, and when the right time comes, then it will all be blessed.

I mean really, if it really is the Lord, then waiting shouldn't be an issue because... If it is really the Lord, then it's definitely worth it all.

So yea... that's all I have for now.

Also Paul does say its better to marry than burn in hell because of your selfish desires. Something towards that effect he says but he also says fight the good fight of faith for the true faith. True faith looks like this I will run the race and not take the easy way out because God is greater and if he sent his only son Jesus as a man to come down here on earth and face the same temptations we do and he overcame them all and so can we. The Cross is remedemption. You are redeemed, you are not a slave to sin. Jesus fully man suffered just for you and now he is with the father pleading for you in intercession, you are not fighting alone he is with and for you.

Wow this is my first time on this forum I'm speechless God call me out, I can totally relate to whoever submit the entry I'm currently engaged, no sex before marriage and love had a lot to do with it.

jose hit the nail on the head.

definitely. i think it would be great if you could get a man who IS in leadership AND married (like jose said) to help you with this problem.

it has helped me to no ends.

men can do for other men what women can't, and this is a battle where we often need more than our mom by our side.

Hey, great question and a very real question. A few thoughts on what you wrote::

I have read some response on the blog and it is a little fairy tale.

I guess my first question would be, what sort of "fairy tale" have you read on the blog? Does it have to do with no sex stuff? Or what?

I'm thinking should I chose this individual as my life partner and put this lust demon to RIP

My only way to interpret what you wrote was that you believe getting married will kill lust in your life. Also, I don't exactly know what you mean by lust (porn, thoughts, looking, desires...all of the above?) Like Jose wrote, please don't fall for that one. As the only married person who has responded to this post so far, let me say...marriage doesn't get rid of lust! I fought with porn for 2 years after my wife & I got married. And the only reason I defeated it (besides the grace of God) was that I confessed it to her (not fun!) and got aggressive in prayer against it. Lust won't & can't be cured by marriage...it's not possible. Lust is a spiritual issue, not just a physical one.

I have recently notice someone who is busy in god.

Awesome! That's the grace of God for you...and maybe something that will drive you to become pure! I know my wife is the reason that I am where I am at with God right now...so a husband/wife can do amazing things for your walk with God. BUT, you really (trust me on this) don't want to bring lust into your marriage. It's destructive & you'll spend hours in counseling trying to get it out. Spend your time on becoming someone worth marrying.

Tasha's quote is from 1 Corinthians 7:9 where it says "It's better to marry than to burn with passion." This is basically assuming that the single person is staying pure...and therefore BURNING!!! Come on Jesus! Paul is therefore saying, "If you are staying pure and therefore burning with passion for this other person, it's better for you to marry them than to spend the rest of your life antagonized by the constant denial of your flesh."

Above all know this, God has plans for you & they aren't quaint and they aren't little...they are huge!!!! And hopefully this other person is part of those plans! But please don't buy into the lie of the enemy that this lust problem that has been plaguing you for so long will be solved by marriage. You need to get aggressive against this lust thing...fast TV, fast internet, learn to control your eyes...whatever it is that you need to do do it! Contact at leader in Fusion/Victory. Get in a small group and talk with that leader. Get some strong accountability in your life! Don't allow lust to steal another moment of your life! Get free & then get married! Come on!

fairytale being superifical, all though I believe most of God children desire to obey, we struggle with our flesh whether it is lust, jealousy, hatred, dealing with people, religious selfishness etc, but we come before each other and share the smallest amount possible (skimming off the surface), while suffering inside and burning, so when I ask for a response I want personal experience or someone whom can say I have or had the same issue, dont just throw me a bible verse or tell me God expectations, most of us know our Father, so a balance Bible and real life. I feel our blessing are being block because we hold back, if our community begin to confess to one another God will show up at Fusion in a big way. When I read your response not only was I surprise how open you were, but I felt things breaking off of me, I felt free, like living free of lust is possible and I never felt that way before. I went to Victory today and spilled my heart desire to two individuals, they are both very concern and will see to it I deal with my issues. For your other question porn is not the issue, I just desire to have sex with many of the opposite sex. As for the person I will restrain myself it would be foolish to put a angel in hell. God Bless

Hey "Guest", that's awesome that God is moving on you and putting you around some people who can speak into your life!

As I don't really know who you are, it's a little difficult to speak to this...but if you aren't struggling with acting on your lust (porn, sex, masturbation, fantasies) then this might be an example of 1 Corinthians 7:9 that I quoted above where it says, "It's better to marry than to burn with passion." If you aren't acting on those desires...then it honestly might not be lust...it might just be sexual desires. Sexual desires are not sinful...lust is sinful. We all have sexual desires, but as Jesus said (to lust is adultery), what we do with those desires is the important part. Again, I don't know you & don't want to lead you astray.

One of the problems in Christian circles is the fact that we beat sex up so much that people think it's sinful to even want to have sex one day. GOD MADE SEX!!!! It's an amazingly beautiful thing! Everyone reading this post, don't be ashamed of the God-given nature that He put inside you. But GUARD it, protect it, don't ruin it...it can be a grenade, but it can also be one of the biggest blessings in your life. I think we talked about this in the series Sex.God...or maybe Hitched...or Real Sex...those all have elements of those thoughts.

Hey "Guest," if you need to ask ANYTHING, come up to me at Fusion and let's talk.