fusionatl

I've really been thinking since Pastor Colleen made her visit to Fusion. She was talking about me when talking about the younger generation being scared of being disappointed. I am guilty of that but for a different reason than she said. She said that we are scared of it, because we haven't really been. I'm scared because I have been disappointed all my life by my father, friends, parents... you name it. If I can be real I feel like even God when dealing with my grandmothers death (but wisdom tells me otherwise on that).

Now, I'm thinking about marriage and really am scared to be disappointed. Wow, that's hard to admit. My birthday is this Saturday and I don't even want to celebrate, because I'm scared that it wont be everything that I've ever wanted it to be. Mind you, I have only kind of celebrated my birthday once in my life but not really. It's really starting to & has been hindering me & I need desperately to get over it.
Am I alone in this? Any suggestions would be nice.

i know what you mean...man will always let you down....God won't.

I don't think you're alone in that Amber. I think a lot of people deal with disappointment at varying levels...disappointment with parents, job, life, God, etc.

Not to sound all churchy, but I think a big key is to realize that God does really have plans to give you hope & a future. You know that, but the problem is where the rubber meets the road...making that knowledge a reality. I think you can't be content with you just knowing the scriptures...I think you have to really KNOW the scriptures. You have to take that scripture, flip open the page, meditate on it, ask God to make it alive to you, allow it to move beyond knowledge to revelation to wisdom.

God truly wants to reveal Himself like that to you...to let you know that you aren't alone & you aren't forgotten & you aren't abandoned...to let you know that even when it's all hitting the fan He's right there...that that isn't the end, but He still has more, brighter, better days ahead for you. But we're told we have to ask, seek & knock for that revelation...that we have to long for it & cry aloud for it & to seek for it as if it was hidden treasure.

I think this is one of those things where faith & logic & disappointment & trust & experiences & contradictions & the Bible all collide into the perfect storm. Glad you're along for the ride Amber.

And just for good measure...
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

amber,

i can totally feel you on this. i've been disappointed so many times on so many levels by so many different people. it's like, everytime something good happens, there's that nagging little voice in my head saying that something's up, it won't last long, etc, etc. sometimes i feel like, "why expect anything at all?"

but what johnson said was good. when His word is in our hearts for real, it becomes our food, our sustenance, our very life source. even if it's one scripture that's really in my heart, i try to hold onto that at all costs. b/c that means that it's the only thing giving me life at that point.

pls know that you are not alone. He is always there. and He's put you in a body of believers who will rally around you and support you through to the end.

Disappointment...man that sums up the life of so many people. Rarely do things and/or people meet our every expectation. I can't really say that I can relate to you, but I do understand where you're coming from. I don't know if your expectations are really high and then things don't pan out or not, but for me I just had to learn to not to be so caught up with things out of my control. I don't have a deep theolgical revelation for you on this particular subject, but I do know that one thing is for sure. People, jobs,events, and material things will always disappoint because none of them are perfect. Even though we often feel like God has let us down, or didn't do what we wanted he promised that he would not forsake us. He didn't promise us that life would be full of sunshine, rainbows, and candy.
I posted a Seed today that might be a little encouraging, check it out under the Bible Verse forum. The other thing is that you are not alone in all of this be encouraged and keep pressing forward.

I think that Pastor Colleen was definitely talking to a lot of us out there that night. Personally, I know that I tend to be very pessimistic sometimes. I even reach the point of expecting disappointment as a normal thing. However, if we continue to tolerate disappointment in our lives we're going to start to settle for less than we're worth.

Throughout my life, I've experienced TONS of disappointments. I could being to list them, but it would all be in vain. All of my disappointments and let-downs appeared like disappointments in disguise at first. To many, they still seem like they are. However, God has a WONDERFUL way of making appearances seem one way on the surface and then unveiling a treasure underneath. Fortunately, all of my external pressures have led me to inner struggles to a point of internal chaos where I'm so mixed up in my emotions and desperate for an answer that I have no energy left in body/mind.
The only energy I have left is in my soul and that's where instead of looking around to see why someone let me down or how something could've turned out wrong (or right) or how I could've changed the outcome of a certain situation, I start looking up and start accepting God's love for me and His will in my life.

See, I think about it this way. If I worry and stress out about marriage, future, friends' thoughts, etc., it won't really change the outcome. Whether you worry about getting married or not, God still has your perfect person waiting. In fact, you might just be hindering God's plan by worrying about it instead of letting Him guide you.
I'm naturally a worrier (warrior? haha?), but after I exhaust myself with all of my thoughts, I realize that God knows WAY more than I do.

And if my life were left up to me to decide, then I'd be SO lost.

God has already written out a BEAUTIFUL story for you, so trust His directing. (At least that's my take on it.)

I, too, haven't celebrated my birthday in a LONG time. And I still fall back and expect the worst from people. But don't you think that's the enemy trying to get you to not realize God's miracles in your life?
I mean, the enemy wouldn't want you celebrating anyway.
I see that you posted this back in June, but I hope you celebrated anyway!

The Lord is my LIGHT and my SALVATION--whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the STRONGHOLD of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?
When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh,
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident....
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.
[Psalm 27]

God bless!

Those are some really good thoughts Laura. Thanks for posting.

Thank you everyone for your words. I don't want to leave you guys hanging on where I ended up with this situation. Through conversation and trust in God, I have overcome my fear of disappointment. I know that it will try to creep back up on me, but my feet are planted firmly. Plus, I know where to go if I ever need help.

Oh and I did celebrate & it was a wonderful celebration!!
Thank you for your advice and know that your words matter.