fusionatl

The below post was added by Renee on January 31 (and taken from the "Since No One Will Ask" forum) & I thought it was good enough to make it its own category. And this brings up the larger question...Should we look for "the one" or will God bring that person to us?


Renee
Joined: 31 Jan 2008

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ok ...angel cakes that was a great comprehensive post....wow!- I have learnt much from it esp. about the fabric.
In Pastor Johnson's post, the part that jumped out at me was....aggresively looking for the one takes God out of the equation.....hmmmm. I believe this is true. However, my question is: is the term aggresive subjective? ( in the flesh it is, but in our walk with christ). In my relationship with Christ , sometimes being aggressive is choosing to do 'it' myself instead of waiting patiently on him, to speak and to act.
What do you guys think?

and...where is the spell check on this?

Think this is an important question that could really effect some of our lives...

First off, I can't say for certain that we shouldn't look for a spouse. I don't see any direct Biblical support for that. I do see in Genesis 24 where Isaac's father sends his servant & the man finds Rebekah to marry Isaac. Different place/different time & it wasn't Isaac doing the looking. None the less, somebody was looking for somebody!

Personally, I do feel like we have more pressing things on our plate than to be looking for a husband/wife. But you do have to take that with a grain of salt, b/c I am married! I do believe that the Bible tells us that it is better not to be married (1 Corinthians 7 kind of explains that one). Don't get me wrong, marriage rocks!...but it does divide you from a devotion to God...and that's why I say that we have more pressing things on our plate than to be looking for a husband/wife...many times to fill the void that we aren't allowing God to fill.

So that brings us to the topic of looking.

I do think we get in trouble when we go looking for a spouse...this means always being on the lookout, going on dating sites, clubs, meat market situations, etc. This can get you in HUGE trouble. But that is different than keeping your eyes open, not being closed when the situation presents itself, and allowing your paths to cross with someone else. That's my story, Avery's story, Todd's story...and who knows how many other stories just like it...not looking for someone, but open to the idea (that's a good way to phrase it!)

The best phrase I have heard about this is, "Start running after Jesus & grab the hand of the person running next to you." That's something to live by.

That's compared with "Online dating sites are like looking through a trash can for a ham sandwich." Yah, you might find one in there...but you're going to have to sort through a lot of crap to get to it...and how nice is it going to be when you find it?

My humble opinion...stop looking, start running, and keep your eyes open on the journey.

I like your opinion Johnson because Oh Boy! LOL
Im going to be real about it since some of you are scared of your own humanity, you constantly have to pray that your eyes to be gazed at HIS BEAUTY (SET YOUR attention on who GOD is) and be honest with God because we are weak and in need of love. But only he CAN satisfy as you keep searching GOD out you will find that out. Ask God to help you put him first and to rememeber that he makes all things beautiful just in time. Search God out go deep into deep get real and allowing him to show you his love in this journey of being single but dont shut down as if you arent worthy. Keep positive people in your life that will encourage you, keep your heart guarded and run like nobody business to God to meet all your emotional needs. I like that you mention that we not looking for someone, but open to the idea.So when we are searching GOD out we dont need to look for anyone because we are searching GOD out right . Some people just close there hearts because they have been told for so long just focus on GOD with no encouragement that they totaly miss out the journey of being single but preparing for what is to come. I dont want to sound like Im preaching but I do want to say this to the women God has not forgotten ,so dont feel like you need to find love he has found you! And Romeo lol will be there in due time so just wait and pray and dig deep in the word of GOD on how he sees you as the women he created you to be.

I'm with u on that Tasha and the fact that u said don't be closed so up, cuz the thing l love about God is that he brings someone to you when his timing is right not when we THINK we are ready to have that person in our life. So l say wait on God besides he already knows our hearts desires and if we just give him our whole heart everything else will follow.

Sorry to bring up another topic guys, but some of us woman need to check ourself and see why we are single!!! I'm not perfect and l'm learning as l grow, but some of us need to ask God to work on our MOUTH (attitude). I have alot more to say so l will jus start another topic lol...

I recommend the book Captivating by Stasi Elderidge and Do you think Im Beautiful by Angela Thomas it will put things into perspective and it lines up with GODs word. If you want to borrow them I can lend them to you. One thing I am learning is that GOD really likes us and that is all that matters. We do have things that need to be worked on but he likes our immaturity because he uses it grow us into mature people.

l agree that yes he does love us even when we are immature, and some things we need to work. My understanding is l can't just wait for God to do all the work for me l gotta have some changes in my life so he can work through me. humble urself before the Lord and he will left u up Right?? l have to be able to humble myself first and he will do the rest. l pray that u won't take it the wrong way l just want to stress my point that some of us need to learn to shut up n learn how to listen for a minute.

Pastor Johnson, your phrase:
stop looking, start running, and keep your eyes open on the journey.
is a simple yet profound answer to the looking question.- thanks
I believe and know that truly, when we start running after Jesus, and choose to focus fully on him , everything else falls into place, one piece at a time in an amazing way.

I agree with everyone

I mean from what Johnson was saying has been what I've seen through the years insanely. It's like the people who are married now weren't even looking for each other, and it just happened. I think that's how God kind of orchestrates it a little. He waits until we are devoted and single minded on Him and then He releases His blessing. It goes with that wonderful verse, "Seek you first the Kingdom of Heaven..." So yea, definitely we need to focus on Him who created us and designed us.

And like Clethra said, God wants to do things in our lives individually before He matches us with that person. I think God is tired of empty or half full people trying to fill each other up and be filled by the other person, but rather have two people secure and full of His love that when they are together they are overflowing.

I mean we'll never be perfect so we shouldn't get those false expectations of needing to be perfect before finding/meeting/or whatever with someone the Lord has put on our hearts (or anything even). But I think that there are some things that the Lord wants us to deal with before we enter into relationships and by allowing this we will be able to enjoy the fullness God has for that relationship and not have all these issues come and just add on the the normal relationship... "adjustments"

But yea, just need to rejoice in being single I would say, God's timing and God's plans are perfect and He will do what He needs to do at the right time.

Amen.

Finally, a simple topic. Thank you Jesus! My goodness, you guys are so deep. I've been scrolling through this forum looking for a question that I can handle. I dare not enter any of those other discussions with all of that supernatural wisdom flying around. LOL! Ok, focus......

After searching for the answer for years, I stopped discussing this topic when I found the following verse. I think all human opinions are worthless when compared to the wisdom offered by the Word of God. Let me preface this by saying that I've been wrong about this many times so now that I've found the answer, I'm set.


1 Corinthians 7:32-33 (New Living Translation) - I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife.


I agree with the phrase quoted by Johnson ,"Start running after Jesus & grab the hand of the person running next to you."

As a single man, my focus must be on God. There is so much that God wants to do with my life during this stage that I must not sell myself short by always looking for a way out. I don't know how long it will last but I know that His plan works way better than mine. I've tried not to be single just because I didn't want to be single anymore. It didn't work out right so I stopped trying.

Now like Paul, in Phillipians 4:12&13, I've decided to satisfy myself with the life that God has offered me. If He directs me to someone while I'm doing His Will I won't refuse the offer. If He doesn't, I won't waste time forcing it. He directs every other area of my life anyway so why not this one? As long as I obey God's directions on a daily basis I will remain in His Will. I'm horrible at making decisions that God didn't already make for me so I won't do it! Anyway, you guys are great! Thanks for this topic.


Proverbs 3:5-7 (New Living Translation) - Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. 7 Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.

Wow, that was good Donnell. I really like what you said, "There is so much that God wants to do with my life during this stage that I must not sell myself short by always looking for a way out." Too many people are always looking to "get out" of being single. I wish I had taken full advantage of being single. Don't get me wrong...I love being married! But when I look back...man...I wasted so much time while I was single. So much good that could have been done, wasn't.

People seem to always be looking for that next stage in life...
When you're 9 you want to be 10
When you're 14 you want to be 18
When you're 18 you want to be 21
When you're 30 you want to be 21
When you're single you want to be married
When you're married you want to be single (j/k HA!)
When you don't have kids you want kids.
When you have kids you don't want kids (again HA!)

But that is so true. We are always looking to "graduate" to the next level that we overlook the importance of the moment & what God has for us to do & be during this phase of life. Everybody stop looking for a way out! Enjoy where you are now & fulfill who you are called to be during this phase!

Thanks Johnson, keep getting stronger. Last night was great with Avery so you could have enjoyed resting at home without any worry.

YESS! Enjoying the moment... And not worrying about tomorrow but focusing on what's here now and today.